Looking back...and forward

"The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy." ~Psalm 126:3

I ran across this verse today, and it's now one of my all-time favorites. My! The blessings of my life continue to astound me, and I'm not only filled with joy and thanksgiving, but also humility and even a bit of sadness.

I don't want 2009 to be marked in our memories as the year of Carter's accident. Instead, I want to remember all the good times we enjoyed and the milestones of our lives that I've often written about here.

I want to remember Hannah's first day of school. How she was so excited to finally go to "big school" with all her friends to play on the big slide.

I want to remember Carter's first birthday and the way he dove into his cake face first.

I want to remember our trip to Las Vegas when these two country bumpkins tried our best (and failed) to blend in with the big city crowd. And how I got felt up by the Coca-Cola polar bear.

I want to remember our family trip to Six Flags, where Hannah wanted to ride all the coasters -- even the big ones. It was Carter's first time spending the night in a hotel room, and Pop and I drove him around Atlanta for an hour in an attempt to get him to sleep.

I want to remember how much the kids enjoyed chasing Paw Paw and Maw Maw's chickens around their yard. And Hannah named hers Kenny.

I want to remember how, even though during the "bad" times, we gained strength from our love for each other and our faith in God. That through our trials we gained a renewed sense of family, togetherness, compassion and gratitude. That, no matter how difficult our situation, we can see God's blessings and purpose for our lives.

Yes, the Lord has certainly done great things for us. 2009 has been a year to remember, and I pray that God blesses us with many more to come.

Blessings!

We are so excited over the good check-up we had with Drs. Ray and Chaignaud today. Both docs and our wonderful occupational therapist, Lynn, seemed to be thrilled at Carter’s progress thus far. Carter, as always, was such a good little patient…holding his “bo-bo” out for them to see and letting them pull and pinch and prod without the first complaint. Well, except for when Jason had to take his raisins away!

Lynn re-fitted Carter’s splint and said he had improved flexibility in his fingers by 7% and his thumb stretch by 12%. She was practically jumping up and down, saying that was so remarkable for such a short time period (since October).

Even though Carter is doing so well with the daily exercises and stretches, Dr. Ray thinks now is a good time to go ahead with the “z-plasty” to release the worst scars between his thumb and index finger and between the index and middle fingers. After that, Dr. Ray says Carter’s range of motion will be back to normal. This will hopefully be Carter’s final procedure for a while. We didn’t get it scheduled today, but we’re expecting it to be sometime early in January.

Now that we’re well on the road to recovery, we’re realizing just how bad this could have been. Dr. Ray (talking to his entourage) said that it wasn’t uncommon in palm burns as bad as Carter’s for all the fingers to be sealed together and to have complete loss of use. Thank God that’s not the case for our Carter.

I am so thankful that God has kept His healing hands on our son throughout this ordeal. Carter’s pain has been manageable, and his scars will heal. He’s a baby and won’t remember any of this in a couple of years. And God has blessed us with an amazing team of medical professionals (the best in their field) to guide us through and make the best choices for his well-being.

Funnies...

Hannah informed me last night that her dog's name isn't Snoopy any more...now it's Puppy Paws (from the new Santa Buddies movie). But, she said that after Christmas it can go back to being Snoopy again. Jury's still out on how Snoopy, er Puppy Paws, feels about it.

After Christmas last year, I bought her a Rudolph tee that has a little light inside Rudolph's nose that lights up when she moves. It's been hanging in her closet all year, and she's never noticed it. So Monday I pull it out and put it on her for school. She liked it so much that on our way home she informed me that she would be wearing it to school every day. And she wasn't joking. I had to PRY her out of it to get a bath and she put it right back on afterward. Tuesday morning, I struggled to get her into a different shirt, and finally I won the battle. After I got Carter dressed, she met me in the hall...with her jacket already on. Odd. Hmmm. Why do I see a little piece of red sticking out from the collar of the jacket (that's zipped all the way to her chin)? Could it be? Yep. Outsmarted by a 4-year-old. Again. Seems to happen quite regular around here.

So guess what...she wore the shirt to school on Tuesday. Again. But she's settled for just sleeping in it ever since. What in the world am I going to do when that battery goes dead?!

I have a similar "problem" with Carter...he has 2 John Deere tractor tees that he begs to wear (in his own way). Every time we go to his closet to pick out a shirt, he starts fumbling through them saying "tractor" over and over. So if you're looking for a gift for Carter...I suggest a 24m - 2T shirt with a picture of a tractor on it.

He also begs for medicine every night before bed. Ever since his bout with pneumonia a few weeks ago, he thinks he's got to have his "me-mes" before turning in. I mean to the point of tears and everything. How did I get so lucky to have a baby that actually asks for medicine?!

A lot of joy in a little package

This past Sunday, Hannah and I had the joy of helping deliver Christmas packages to the residents at the nursing home. Even though I tried to talk her into staying home with her Daddy and brother, she insisted that she wanted to go. So I put on her new Santa shirt, and she accessorized the outfit with a silver beaded necklace and her new “boots with the fur.”

All the way there, I tried to prepare her (myself) for what lay ahead. I told her that there would be no children except for her and that some people would be sick and in bed. I threatened her to within an inch of her life to only use “nice words”  while we were there. “I will, Mama,” she assured me.

What I saw her do once she got inside those doors was nothing short of amazing. My shy, hide-behind-Mama’s-legs-when-somebody-tries-to-speak-to-me, don’t-even-THINK-about-touching-me child turned into this sweet, kind-hearted, warm and loving little angel. (She also turned into the boss and took charge of our cart of goodies, making sure we covered every room.)

She took gifts into the rooms and sat them on tables or in residents’ laps. She let them hug her and pinch her cheeks and even sat on a few laps. She wasn’t afraid and didn’t ask the first question. She just went room-to-room handing out the little packages. Come to think of it, she didn’t talk much at all.

On a few occasions, Hannah would peek into the rooms and say, “Shhh Mama…she’s asleep. Let’s leave it on the table.”

And what brought me more joy than I could imagine was the residents’ reaction to HER. Some simply smiled at her. Some wanted to just touch her. Several tried to give her candy (which I accepted for her) or cookies.

One husband and wife couple invited us in their room and tried their best to adopt us. The lady said to Hannah, “Come on in, baby. Go see Paw Paw.” And Hannah went right on over. The lady showed us all her pictures and told us where she used to live and just seemed utterly delighted to have visitors.

Another lady was laying in her bed looking out the door into the hall. I watched her watch people file past her door with not much expression until she saw Hannah. Her whole face lit up and she cackled and squealed and reached out for Hannah. So we made a special trip inside to visit with her for a minute.

As we gathered in the lobby to leave, my Daddy told Hannah to go over to a gentleman sitting alone on the other side of the room and tell him “Merry Christmas.” So she did, and he smiled and said the same to her. Then he left. And fast….who knew he could peddle that wheelchair that fast?! As we were literally walking out the door, he rounded the corner and called out to her. He was digging in his shirt pocket, and pulled out a small pearl necklace. He handed to Hannah and said, “I won this at Bingo and been lookin’ for a purty girl to give it to.” What a treasure!

I left there with my heart filled to overflowing. Not just for having visited with those precious souls, but for the feeling of fulfillment that only comes from knowing you’ve brought someone else a bit of joy. Hannah is much too young to understand just what an impact her presence made in those people’s day. I am so proud of her for showing such compassion and allowing them to love on her the way she did…something well beyond her typical comfort zone.

Children are such a blessing…and I thank God every day that He has trusted me to care for the two beautiful and perfect gifts that are my children.

A couple of goofy videos...

Dinnertime at the Scruggs household is never boring. Tonight, Carter practiced his "oh-my-goodness" face:

Not to be outdone, Hannah practiced the Pledge of Allegiance:

I'll translate:

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the nice snakes of America, and to the pleasure for which it stands -- one nature under God, invisible, until you touch the straw.

Out on the town!

We got all dressed up for our usual Friday night date to Walmart (did you know there’s no hyphen in it any more?!)…Carter was such a little stud muffin in his new button-up and khakis. All he needed was a belt (I’ll take care of that tomorrow).

 

Hannah Banana sported her new t-shirt dress I made her…

Yet before we could actually make it inside Walmart, my sweetheart had a slight wardrobe malfunction:

H: Mommmmeeee!! My panties!!!

And sure ‘nuff, there was a big problem with her panties…they were down around her ankles. In the Walmart parking lot. In the Ped Xing. She was just wobbling along trying to keep up with us.

So in the interest of not getting run over, I ever-so-discreetly bent down and yanked them back up to their proper place. Who knew elastic would just give out like that?!

Now, panties are at the top of our shopping list for tomorrow. It never even occurred to me to actually buy panties for her while we were inside the store. I’ll blame it on short-term memory loss as a result of ingesting excessive amounts of aspertame.

Trick or treat…

Couldn’t resist sharing a few pics from tonight. I was so proud of Hannah and Carter for being such little angels tonight! These costumes would have been PERFECT if it hadn’t been 90 degrees tonight. Poor little babies were drenched in sweat! But neither of them complained or asked to take off their costume. Carter really surprised me. He even tried to say “trick or treat” and “rahhhh” like a true (Auburn) tiger. (But don’t tell his daddy…I let him think it was a McKenzie tiger hee hee.)

 

       

 

Oh – I almost forgot to mention that Hannah’s pumpkin won an honorable mention in the K4-3rd grade division. We’re so proud!

The great pumpkin…

I’d say Hannah’s pumpkin turned out pretty good considering I didn’t even know she needed a pumpkin until 2:00 this afternoon.

 

 

In case you can’t tell…it’s a lady bug. I thought it would be utterly appropriate since Hannah loves bugs and she’s going to be a lady bug for Halloween. Again.

And yes, I even let her do most of the painting. She’s actually a good little artist. You can tell by how well she painted the face :)

Other updates:

Carter is doing remarkably well. Still seeing some progress with his thumb and index finger stretches, and his scar is slowly softening and fading. He’s just so amazing. So smart! And sneaky!!

Mimi has become the possum whisperer…it appears that their back porch has been claimed by a family community of possums who apparently love cat food. Daddy was, um, taking care of the possums while he was home, but when he went on the road Mimi had to take matters into her own hands. Hannah’s take on it was so “Hannah-like”. She said, “If I were a possum I wouldn’t go in Mimi’s yard. It’s not safe in Mimi’s yard for possums. I’d stay in the woods with my mommy and daddy.” Me, too, baby. Especially after the spice rack incident.

We baked cupcakes for the big Fall Fun Festival at Bev’s…Hannah and Carter “helped.”

Look at my brown-eyed girl…

And “Mr. Mischief”…

Life is good. We’re so blessed!

Quick update

We visited Children’s Hospital again today for Carter’s check-up with Dr. Chaignaud (pronounced “Shay-no”), the surgeon burn specialist. I’m always a little apprehensive about these visits. Part of it is being so afraid that they’re gonna look at him and tell me I’m doing a terrible job of taking care of him. The other part involves wrangling a rambunctious 18-month-old in a waiting area for a long period of time while trying my best to keep him from touching anything that might possibly host a germ of any sort. (An impossible yet admirable goal)

Dr. Chaignaud seemed to be pretty pleased with Carter’s progress today, and she said we should just keep doing what we’ve been doing and to come back to see her in 3 months. I am pleased with his progress, too, and it’s so reassuring to hear from the expert that we’re on the right track.

She said we should call Dr. Ray (the plastic surgeon) tomorrow to set up an appointment with him so he can determine whether it’s time for the scar release surgery that will loosen up those restricting scars that are hampering Carter’s hand function. So I’ll do that first thing in the morning.

Lynn, the super-sweet occupational therapist, also checked in with us to adjust Carter’s splint that he wears every night to stretch his thumb. I knew that he had gained a lot of mobility in his thumb since his last splint was too easy to put on – and that was a good thing. Lynn was also happy with how well he’s able to move and grasp with his “bo-bo” hand.

And once again, the Lord had me walk down the hallways of Children’s Hospital and realize just how blessed I am. Little boys racing down the hall in wheelchairs and bald-headed little girls towing IV poles really have a way of speaking directly to my heart. And what breaks my heart is how happy these children are. So if you ever get to feeling sorry for yourself and need a reality check, I strongly suggest a visit. (Or watch a St. Jude telethon…just make sure you’ve got a box case of Kleenex nearby.)

~0~

“When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed;
when you are discouraged, thinking all is lost.
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
and it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by.

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey's end.”

Meanwhile…

I couldn’t resist sharing Hannah’s “when I grow up” work from school. I asked her who it was in the picture, and she said, “You!” I take that as a compliment (I think).

 

~0~

Carter has graduated from calling everybody “mama”…now he calls Pop “BOP!” and Paw Paw “BAW BAW”. I wrote it in all caps because he doesn’t “say” it, he YELLS it.

Can’t you just see the sweetness in this little grin?

And yes, that’s a “bo-bo” on his head. We literally have ONE step inside our whole house and he fell down it. Oh yeah, and under the big scrape is a smaller scrape where he had a run-in with Granny’s recliner. And if you look REAL close, you can see the faint bruise on his right cheek. I forgot what happened there, but it was definitely a bad week for him!

Accident prone doesn’t even begin to describe my children these days. Some might call that payback. Like the time at Disney World when Daddy bought a $4 Sprite and I spilled it before anybody could get a sip.

~0~

Hannah is a movie addict. Lately her favorite is Charlotte’s Web, and she has both the cartoon and “real people” versions. So one Friday night a couple weeks ago, she talked Jason into fixing her a bowl of popcorn, and she settled in.

A little while later I went to check on her and saw this…(I couldn’t resist snapping a pic)

Back to "normal"

Things are finally getting back to "normal" around our house. Here are a few highlights:

At dinner Thursday night, Hannah said, "Daddy -- I gotta talk you over something. You know my friend Gabby? She said not tonight but the next night when it gets dark outside, they're having a football at my school and I wanna go." Why? "Because they got big lights there and the bugs come because that's where all their friends are and I wanna go see 'em." Who can argue with that? And we did go, because she asked so sweetly. And she had a ball catching hard bugs and talking to the big tiger and getting a ring pop and glow necklace from the concession stand. And we won...which made it even better for us!

~0~

Hannah also hit us with this conversation last week: "Mama -- you know how they're building the fire station? Well that's how me and my daddy are gonna build a horse pen for when I get a horse."

"We can't get a horse, baby," I said. "Horses eat a lot of food and we can't feed one." (Yeah -- that'll get her)

"That's why we're gonna get a little horse."

Oh.

"And we can put it in the yard and it will eat all the grass and Daddy won't have to cut grass. Ain't that a good idea?"

Ummm...

"So I'm gonna ask Santa Claus to bring me one."

"He can't fit a horse in his sleigh."

"He fit my Jeep and the horse is little, too."

So I took the easy way out..."You're gonna have to talk to your daddy about that one."

~0~

Carter loves putting his dollar in the collection plate every Sunday. We've learned not to give it to him too early, though, because he tries to give it to everybody that walks by. And if they keep going, he starts yelling "HEY!"

This morning as I was taking communion, he helped himself to one of those little cups of grape juice. We grabbed it just in time to avert a total disaster, and the gentleman holding the tray snickered more than a little. Afterward, we gave Carter his dollar and he started looking around for a silver tray. It took them just a few minutes to get to us (we sit in the very back), and when it finally was his turn, Carter slammed it down into the plate and then smiled this huge, toothy, slobbery grin. That same man is still smiling about that one.

Still needing prayers...

We've had a rough couple weeks, and I thank you all for your thoughts and prayers for us!

Hannah had an episode with her ears last week. She ran fever for a couple of days but didn't complain about anything hurting. We took her to the doctor, and when we got to the exam room I noticed her right ear bleeding, so we knew without a doubt that she had an ear infection. Again. (She had bad ear infections the whole month of July, despite the tubes.) Even Dr. Baldwin asked her if her ear hurt, and she just said, "No, ma'am." Bless her heart!

Then later that afternoon Daddy called to tell me she was crying with her "hip" hurting and a 104.7 fever. Needless to say, Daddy brought her back to Andalusia pretty quick. Turns out it was still the ear infection, and she was a sick little girl. She got a shot and went home to sleep her fever off. She laid on the couch and literally sweat like a man with beads running down her cheeks and soaking her pillow. When she woke up she felt much better, and she hasn't slowed down since!

Carter went back to daycare Tuesday for the first time since the accident, and they called at 3 to tell me he was running a fever, too. So I made him an appointment for the next day, thinking it was an ear infection, too. But when I got there and saw how pale he was, I decided to take him on that afternoon -- and I'm so glad I did! He threw up in the waiting room and then went limp. He didn't even cry when they pricked his finger. Flu test was negative and his ears were good, but his blood work showed a white blood count over 24,000. So we went straight to the hospital. He's been here ever since, but he's much better today.

Dr. Baldwin seems to think he has a bacterial blood infection, but we don't know where he picked it up. She's pretty confident it wasn't from his hand (my first concern), but she said he was septic on Tuesday, which terrifies me. What if I'd waited to bring him on Tuesday?! She's trying to contact his doctors in Birmingham, and we'll probably make a trip up there this week for them to check him out. That would make me feel much better, at least.

If Dr. Baldwin is happy with his blood work, we could possibly go home this afternoon with oral antibiotics to combat this terrible infection. He's 100% better -- running around like normal, but he really scared us there for a while.

So keep us in your prayers for a while longer...I'm always looking up and hoping for the best, and I am ever so thankful for all the blessings God has bestowed upon my family.

Our little supermodels...

What better way to celebrate 10 years of wedded bliss than by having our young'uns' pictures taken?!

I was very pleased with the results...even though Carter didn't want to let go of the little motorcycle they had in the studio. The ones of him in his red shirt were all taken with him on it...we just cropped it out. Hey -- whatever works!

After our photo shoot, we ate a quick lunch and went to the Build-A-Bear Workshop where Hannah got a Hello Kitty that she named "Hello Kitty," and Carter got a dog we named "Grover." Everybody thoroughly enjoyed themselves, and Carter was asleep before we were even out of the parking lot. :)

Girls -- eat your hearts out...look at those long lashes!

This is Hannah's beloved "Leafy." Hannah has decided Leafy is a girl, despite the blue nose, bow and heart. She got her from a sweet nurse at the hospital on the day she got her tubes (the week of Valentine's Day). I wish the nurse knew just how attached Hannah is to that sweet little bear!

10 things I love about you...

I'm feeling a little sentimental today. After all, it's Jason's and my 10th anniversary. So I thought I'd actually put into words a few of the things I love about my hubby and peas:

To Jason:

1. You can always make me laugh. Regardless of the situation.
2. Only you know how to make me feel like the most beautiful woman on earth. Even though I swat you away and tell you not to grab me in public, I secretly like the way you can't keep your hands off me. [But I'm still gonna pretend like I don't.]
3. I love the way your lips curl when you fib...and how you try to hide it by grinning a big cheesy grin.
4. I love your matter-of-fact, no BS way of dealing with people. That way folks always know where they stand with you. I wish I could be more like that.
5. You keep me young. Your horsing around and playing makes me feel like a kid again -- even when I'm trying to be serious. When you tackle me and throw me over your shoulder, I feel weightless and giddy just like when we were teenagers.
6. I love watching you play with our children.
7. You're good at everything! You're athletic. You're smart. You can beat those stupid video games. Man, you're amazing!
8. You can put me at ease and I know I can lean on your strength to get me through anything.
9. I love your intense, take-no-prisoners approach to sports. You take it so seriously, and I like to see you so involved in something you enjoy.
10. You're the only person in the world that knows how to "brush my feet."

To Hannah:

1. I love how you stare intently at me when I'm telling you something new. How you hang onto my every word and believe everything I say.
2. You make me laugh -- even when you don't try.
3. I love your great big imagination.
4. You see everything as BEAUTIFUL. You remind me to stop and take note of the small things I often overlook...a teeny flower hidden beside the doorstep, a caterpillar, a star or cloud.
5. Your laugh is the most beautiful music in the world.
6. I love the way you hug me and kiss me -- especially at bed time.
7. I love the way you squnch up your nose when you smile.
8. You bring out the best in me.
9. I love watching you play. Whether it's computer games, or "pets" or babies -- you are so intense when you're in your own little world.
10. I love the way you're starting to do more things on your own. Brushing your teeth, getting in the tub or bed by yourself, dressing yourself -- it's exciting and sad at once.

To Carter:

1. I love how you wave -- like Granddaddy waving from the porch. Arm straight up, fingers spread out.
2. I love to hear you babbling and pretending that we understand what you say. (Like Roll Tide, although I still say you're just saying "rah rah.")
3. Your hugs make my heart melt.
4. Your sweet little smile when you're doing something you shouldn't makes it SO HARD to get onto you!! (But you already knew that!)
5. I love the way you love your night-night.
6. I love your on-command smile. Everybody else does, too.
7. I love how strong and brave you've been since your accident -- even when you have every right to scream and try to run away.
8. I love how you've made our lives "interesting." There's never a dull moment when Carter is around!
9. I love how you hold my finger and lead me around.
10. I love how you cross your little feet when you sleep in your carseat.

God smiled on me the day you each came into my life, and I can't imagine my life without the three of you. Even though I don't always do a good job of showing it, I love you three more than life itself...always remember that.

First day of school

If she hadn't been so doggone excited, I probably would've spent Thursday crying myself into a puddle of mush over the fact that my BABY went to school. Even though K4 isn't technically "big" school, it's close enough for us!

Equipped with her Dora backpack (with wheels) and her pillow and blanket for naptime, Hannah was so ready for school. I talked her into a few pics before we left:

Once we got there, she went straight in and sat in her little chair and started coloring the picture her teachers had put out for her. She just waved at me. She wasn't even sad. *sniff sniff* I know that's technially a good thing, but she coulda missed me a little -- at least to help my feelings.

I teared up on my way out, but quickly got distracted by people asking about Carter. I was working my way up for a good cry on the way to work, but talked to Jason and he calmed my nerves. So no tears yet.

Hannah has several of her friends from Mrs. Bev's in her class, which makes it much easier for her. Mrs. Scott knows to keep an eye on Hannah and Eli since they're getting married and all. And especially since the "tent" incident at Mrs. Bev's a few weeks ago (they were caught kissing in the tent). From what Ginger has told me, Hannah does good in the cafeteria...she carries her own tray already! She's such a big girl.

I'm pretty confident she'll continue to love school. She's as much a nerd as her momma, which has it's good and not-so-good points (depending on who you ask). So now we're gearing up to start her first full week, and I hope we keep up the trend from last week. :)

Carter update

We've been home now for a week and a half, and by all outward appearances Carter is doing just fine. If it weren't for the big bandage on his left hand, you'd never guess his little body is working overtime to heal.

At his doctor's appointment in B'ham on Friday, Dr. Chaignaud (pronounced Shay-no) told us to come back Tuesday and be prepared to stay in case Dr. Ray wants to do the graft on Wednesday. Carter's fingers looked great, and they are all unwrapped this go-round, except for his middle finger. He could have some fun with that if he were a little older.

We are very pleased with his progress thus far, and we're counting our blessings every step of the way. We're especially thankful that he is not in pain except during his dressing changes. He virtually ignores the bandages and doesn't put up too much a fuss when we do his exercises and give him his little massage every day.

We have been blessed with the most caring and thoughtful (not to mention generous) network of friends and family, who have tended to our every need. It does my heart good to know that people care about us so much.

So please keep Carter in your prayers as we prepare for his surgery [possibly] this week. We trust that God will continue to hold our son in his merciful hands.

It was the best of times; it was the worst of times

As I sit here in the Children's Hospital Burn Unit listening to the chattering of nurses and clamoring of hospital hallways, I keep thinking I will wake up and find this has all been a dream. But I know better.

On our 9th day in the hospital, I've become accustomed to my new "reality" that includes surgeries and months (and probably years) of physical therapy on Carter's precious little hand. All because of a foolish mistake of my own. I've been told not to blame myself, but that's easier advice to give than to follow.

It's easy to feel sorry for yourself in situations like this, but then I walk around the unit and see others in our same situation -- and worse -- and realize that although it's bad, it could be much worse. I see bald-headed children pulled in little red wagons, tethered to IVs and feeding tubes and sundry life-sustaining devices and say a prayer of thanksgiving that my son's injuries will heal. I see weary and worried parents trudging up the halls, and even though I know what it's like to see your child in pain, I am so thankful to not know the fear of the real possibility that your child may not live to see his next birthday.

Yes, God is good. Throughout our ordeal, He has blessed us. He has put us in the capable and compassionate hands of the nurses, doctors and other staff who have taken such good care of us all. He has blessed us with a network of friends and family who have taken care of our every need. He has sheltered Carter from infection that could threaten his life. And He has given us the strength and courage to deal with this difficult situation.

I've had my moments. We've shed our tears. And even though I know they do no good, they somehow help me cope.

Sweet Hannah has been an angel. And I miss her so much! I look forward to being home and our family all together, even if it's just for a few days.

Tomorrow will bring another hurdle for our son, as Dr. Ray takes him into surgery to remove all the dead tissue and put on a dressing that will hopefully speed up the healing process. The anesthesiologist met with me earlier this morning to outline the risks associated with general anesthesia. Even though I already knew, it somehow made it more real to hear her speak the words. But I'm praying that God will continue to hold Carter in His loving embrace and bring him back to us safe and sound.

Please continue to lift him up in your prayers, as well.

YESSS!!

After 10 years, 2 babies (one of them a little Hercules), countless buckets of chicken and literally tons of cake -- believe it or not -- my wedding gown still fits!

And before you ask...yes. It was zipped. All the way.

Now I'm not sayin' it fit just like it did on our wedding day. Let's face it. Some things get shifted around during pregnancy that will never be the same again. Not to mention my lifelong obsession with everything chocolate. But I was still ecstatic that I could wiggle my way into it.

Hannah, on the other hand, had a fabulous time prancing around in the little dress Granny made for me to wear in my first school beauty pageant when I was 5. Her trying on the dress is what started the whole dress-up party.

She decided she needed a flower, and quickly found a corsage for her dress. Not to pin on, but to tuck into the collar of her dress. She also loved wearing my veil.

Before long, she started saying she was a princess like Cinderella. She said, "I need a prince," and started looking all around. Her eyes settled on little Carter, who was busy climbing into and out of Pop's recliner (that's another story altogether). "Carrrrterrrr...come be my prinnnnnnce," she said. He stopped in his tracks and looked at her. One look told him he needed to get out of there. Fast. But Hannah was faster, and she quickly snatched him up.

Carter let out this high-pitched squeal (which he does every time she touches him). But Hannah isn't easily deterred. She kept saying, "C'mon Carter. You're gonna be my prince," in her soothing I-can-talk-you-into-anything voice.

~ 0 ~

Now that we're all recovered from last weekend's trip to Six Flags, I thought I'd post some pics and share some of the fun we had. The car ride up there wasn't as stressful as I'd feared (except for the actual drive through Atlanta with Jason's NASCAR driving skillz). The kids both did great in the car -- Hannah watched A Bug's Life while Carter snoozed and watched Barney.

After changing hotels twice (and ending up where we started), we all piled into the pool. It was the first time we'd really put Carter in there, and even though he screeched for the first few minutes, he ended up splashing like a little fish. The only problem was that he didn't want to be in the float or in my arms...he wanted down. Which is exactly where he would've gone if I'd let him go!

The first night in the hotel was excruciating -- with Carter crying for a good 4 hours (really, it was probably more like 20 minutes, but it felt like a lot longer). I was worried that we'd get kicked out of our rooms, so Pop and I drove him around for an hour to get him good and asleep before we tiptoed up to the room and ever-so-gently lay him in his rent-a-crib. A good plan, but as soon as his little head hit the matress, he popped those eyes open and started wailing again. He certainly didn't want Mommy, so Pop walked him around until he fell asleep. Meanwhile, Hannah and I were laying in bed praying for God to help Carter go to sleep. One of the two (or maybe both) finally worked.

The next morning, after a hearty IHOP breakfast, we embarked on Six Flags -- with Hannah's list of "must-do" rides. The train was first, and after that Bugs Bunny World, where she rode several of the little rides. They even had a little "show" with all the Looney Tunes characters doing an American Idol-like program. Hannah was miserable having to sit there and watch it while all those rides were right outside, so Jason took her on to ride while Carter, Mimi, Pop and I watched the show. Carter got all into it -- clapping and dancing. He thoroughly enjoyed himself.

Getting ready to ride the REAL train.

The show

Hannah and I stood in line for 20 mintues to ride the Wile E. Coyote Cannon Blaster, which was actually a pretty exciting little coaster. I was worried about Hannah's first coaster experience, but I don't know why. I told her that people screamed on coasters when they were having fun, and boy did she scream! Before the ride even stopped, she was saying she wanted to do it again.

A pivotal moment in my life -- realizing that even though my husband (is chicken) doesn't share my love of coasters, my precious little daughter does!! And she woulda got on the big coasters if they'd let her. So it's just a matter of time before I have a riding partner. WOO HOO!!

A few other highlights:

Carter is a big fan of the merry-go-round.

Hannah, too!

How do I love you?

I've always heard the first two lines of this poem, but I'd never read the rest of it. This literally brought me to tears because it so eloquently speaks to the love I have for my children.

How Do I Love You?
How do I love you?
Let me count the ways;
I love you on your very best
And very worst of days.

I love to see you laughing
And dancing in the rain,
And even if you make a mess
I love you just the same.

I love to hear you sing,
I love to see you smile,
I love the way you take each day
In your own unhurried style.

I'm happy when you're happy
I'm sorry when you're sad
And even though it may not show
I love you when you're bad.

I love to watch you sleeping
Tucked away in dreams
I love to hear you whisper
All your future hopes and dreams.

I love to watch you play
And all your silly ways
I'm sure you'll never know
How much I love you more each day.

How do I love you?I
t's impossible to say;
For if I had a million days
And time enough for all the praise
I couldn't tell you all the ways
I love you.

Ding-ding-ding...ROUND 1!

So we're decorating our classrooms for VBS again last night, and Hannah and her sweet little friend, Brittan, were playing ever-so-quietly in the floor with a box full of stickers. They were being so quiet and sweet, giggling and sharing the stickers just like little girls do. Then here comes Carter like a big bull dozer. WHOOSH! All the stacks of stickers are now a scattered mess. But he didn't do it on purpose to be aggrivating...he was trying to get in on the action, too. He plopped his little self right between the girls (but on top of the stickers) and picked up a sheet to have a taste.

I basically sat back to see how the kids would work it all out, which was pretty much Hannah screaming at him to MOOOOOVE! Then I hear Hannah say, "Hey Britt. If you look at him mean he'll go away." Aww. That's sad. But it worked. He moved on to something else. For a while.

Then one of the ladies cut a door in a big pasteboard box for the girls to play house. And Carter became the big bad wolf. He wanted to play SO bad. But when the girls screamed and hollered at him, he thought they were playing with him, so he kept on shaking the box until he stumbled on it and it collapsed. Needless to say, the girls weren't happy about that at all.

So it begins!

Funnies...

Sunday afternoon, Carter was toddling around the yard while Jason watered our new flowers. Jason said he looked and saw Carter bending down to pick up his little Croc that had fallen off. Carter picked it up, looked at it and started looking around for help. Then he toddled over to Stan (our 105-year-old German Shepherd), plopped down beside him, handed him the Croc and stuck his little foot over for Stan to put it back on. Jason said Stan just looked at him like, "Sorry, can't help you buddy." I guess Carter considers Stan an adult.

Jimmy and Rebie (Jason's daddy and stepmom) have got a few little chickens at their house, and of course Hannah LOVES them. When we went to see them for the first time, Hannah fell in love with the little rooster, whom she promptly named "Kenny." Naturally, she wanted to bring him home with us, but Rebie (who is oh-so-smart when it comes to that kind of thing) said, "He can be your chicken, but let him live here with us." SCORE ONE FOR REBIE!! So now we have to go check on Kenny from time to time, and Hannah chases all the chickens around the yard. She can even catch them from time to time. Even Carter got his hands on one Monday night. Boy! You've never heard so much squawking or seen so many feathers fly! Jimmy was about to have a fit, while Rebie was running for her camera. Aren't grandparents wonderful?!

I also need to mention that Hannah is starting to clue in on how we're all connected. Such as...Mimi is my momma, Pop is my daddy, Paw Paw is Jason's daddy, etc. Well when we told her that Maw Maw was Jason's step-mother, it upset her so bad. She started hollering, "NO! Don't call her a step-mother! She's not a step-mother!" The only thing I can figure is that she thinks "step" is the same thing as "mean" because of the Cinderella story that she loves so much. Bless her heart.

Carter isn't much of a talker. He babbles constantly and makes plenty of noise, but he's definitely a man of few words. He pretty much says, "Mama" (for both me and Mimi) and "Dada". Oh, and sometimes "duh" for dog. Everything else is in his own little sign language. You ask him what the big truck says and he pumps his little arm up and down (like you do when you want them to honk). Every night at supper, Hannah wants us to say the blessing all together like they do at school. And when we all say, "Amen," little Carter just nods his head. He knows what we're saying, because he follows directions (put the toy in the box, bring me that sock, go to the bathroom, etc). He just doesn't need to talk. We cater to his every grunt and growl.

An experience of a lifetime...

Jason and I are having a blast in Vegas, and this is just one of the highlights of our trip so far. What you don't know is that right before this was taken, I felt a furry little (big) paw grab me on my hiney! Who knew the Coca-Cola polar bear was so friendly! He gave me a big Las Vegas hello, in true Las Vegas hospitality tradition.

We're really getting along well...as well as two country bumpkins in a big ole city can possibly get along. We're adjusting to this fast-paced society where everybody's in a big hurry and you don't -- under any circumstances -- stop in the flow of traffic (or in a crosswalk) for fear of being trampled or run over by mad cab drivers. (Why are those cabbies so angry?!)

The absolute worst part of our trip so far is that Hannah's bronchitis last week has turned into pneumonia this week. We're so blessed to have her in such good care with Mimi and Pop. Mimi says she's doing much better today, and we're very grateful for that. Carter seems to be doing great...I just talked to Mimi who said he was happily playing in the toilet. That's our boy!!

Surprises, surprises!

So yesterday I'm at Mama and Daddy's house with the kids. Hannah has bronchitis, so she was napping in my old bed while Carter was running around and exploring (as usual).

Since Mama had an eye on Carter, I excused myself to the powder room. Of course I didn't look in the potty before I sat down -- why would I?

But when I got ready to flush, to my surprise I looked down and saw a calculator submerged in the potty. My first reaction was "ewww." My second thought was "Carter."

I knew I had to fish it out, but boy I didn't want to. I looked all around for something to help. The toilet brush was MIA and there was nothing even resembling a tool for retrieving calculators from the toilet. I admit I did eyeball the toothbrushes for a split second before coming to myself. (Sorry Mama and Daddy -- I'm ashamed for even thinking it. I woulda told you, of course)

So I (ever-so-gently) used my fingertip to pull it up out of the water and then pincer-fingered it out of there. I knew if I put it in the garbage, Hannah would go in there and come out with it, thinking it was there by mistake. So I wrapped it in toilet paper until you couldn't tell what it was any more.

So now Carter owes Mama a new calculator and we've all made another mental note to keep the bathroom door closed. And if you come to my house, please be sure to "look before you "leak."

Lovin'

Children are excruciatingly honest. Especially my dear little Hannah.

Bedtime is sometimes a battle of wills between her and us, with her often having the upper hand. (It's that sweet little, "Mommmmmeeeeee" that I just can't resist.) By the time I have her settled in with Leafy (her most favorite bear), Baby Jaguar (who is actually a baby wolf Diego rescue pet), her favorite blanket (that's what she calls it), her Elmo button-up pajamas (that she can button by herself because she's 4 now), a cup of "princess juice" (aka water) on the nightstand, her "diamonds" (vitamins) taken care of, her Disney princesses lamp turned on, a book read, kisses and hugs, "I-love-you-all-the-way-to-the-moon-and-back" said, and her "hard bugs" tucked away in their little cage for the night (that's another post altogether), I'm exhausted. Not to mention all that led up to her actually getting in bed (bath, teeth brushed, etc.)

It's nothing new that she thrives on routine. So if one element of the above list is absent, we all know to be prepared for the consequences.

(Carter, on the other hand, just wants his bath, teeth brushed, a stuffed animal of some sort and a blankie. Ah, I'm relishing the days of a simple lullaby and putting a baby in a bed he can't get out of!)

Anyhow...last night was one of those nights when it was hard to get her settled down. After reading a book 3 times, lots of hugs and kisses, several trips back and forth to bring her things from the kitchen and several attempts to leave the room, I admit my patience was worn thin. So I told her (in my stern Mommy voice) that it was time to go to sleep and that I was not coming back in her room until tomorrow.

So she looks up at me with those big brown doe eyes and says, "Mommy? I wonna tell you sumpthin." (which means she wants to ask a question, in an attempt to stall the inevitable)

So I go back over to her bed and wait. She peers up and says, "I love you all the way to the moon and back."

I say, "Aww...I love you, too, baby."

And she says (in her most pitiful little voice), "You don't act like you love me."

What could I say to that?!

I hear people say that their parents didn't say, "I love you," to them, but they knew that they were loved just the same. But I also know that many folks say the words but don't live them. I pray that I'm not one of those people...especially to my children.

And although I know that was her way of keeping me in the room for just a few more seconds, deep down inside I wonder if she really knows how much I love her. It's devastating to me to even think that my children consider my "I love you's" just empty words...something I say because I'm supposed to. I want to show my love for them...love that surpasses any emotion I've ever experienced...I want there to be no doubt as to whether or not their Mommy loves them more than life itself.

I never dreamed a mother's love could be so difficult. On one hand I love them so much that I want to give them everything they desire. To always say, "yes." To be a buddy, a pal, someone to horse around with. While on the other hand, I know that it's my God-given responsibility to teach them right from wrong. To correct them (in love). To protect them. To give them the knowledge and confidence to stand on their own.

So, Hannah and Carter, I hope that someday you understand just how much your Daddy and I love you. You are the most important people in our lives (and always will be), and we would happily lay down our lives for you. Please realize that every time we correct you, we do it in love. We make you go to bed at a decent hour because we love you enough to know that you need rest. We make you say "yes ma'am, yes sir, please and thank you" because we want everybody to love you as much as we do. We make you eat supper because we love you enough to want to make sure your bodies are healthy. We make you pick up your toys because we want you to know how to take care of yourselves when Mommy and Daddy aren't around. We won't let you climb or jump on the couch because we don't want to be in the ER with a head that needs stitching up. We won't let you swim in your pool in January because we don't want you to get sick. We won't let you kiss the dog on the mouth because, well, that's just gross.

And the list goes on.

So to all you out there blessed enough to have someone call you Mommy or Daddy, I'm sure you already know how special you are to your children...regardless of how old they are. (If you have teenagers, just know that they do grow out of it, and you'll be their hero again in a few years.)

And for those of you who've yet to experience the wonder of parenthood...be careful of what you say about other people's children. I especially urge you to stay away from phrases like, "My children will never..." because they will, and then you'll need a BIG bottle of ketchup to eat those words. Believe me -- I've got a huge stash for that very purpose.

Thought for today

The best (almost) birthday party ever!

It was sure to be the biggest, bestest birthday party ever...almost.

It was the day of Hannah's big party, and everything was set. The bounce house had been picked up; the hot dogs and buns and all the fixins were ready; the balloons were ordered; the cake was decorated; the Hawaiian punch frozen to a perfect slushy mix.

But at 5 a.m. Saturday morning, I heard the pitiful cry coming from her room. And when I got to her I knew there would definitely be no party that day. Bless her heart, for the second time in a week, little Hannah was throwing up...in her bed...talk about awful!

So I cleaned her up and got her in bed with me and Jason. Just like earlier that week, only this time she couldn't stop. So I got out the big guns...phenergran that Dr. Baldwin had given me to keep for times like these.

Carter (who had gotten his shots on Thursday) had run a fever all day on Friday and was still feeling awful when he got up. So I fed him a few bites and rode him around so he could go back to sleep without waking Hannah. While I was out with him (this was before 7 a.m.), I decided to start calling all our friends to call off the party. I wanted to do as much of that as possible from the car so Hannah wouldn't hear me telling it over and over. (And she didn't even know yet)

I did pretty good for the first couple of calls, but when I called my dear friend Cat, I just fell all to pieces thinking of how disappointed Hannah would be. It just broke my heart to think of telling her we were going to cancel her party.

By the time I got Carter to sleep and back to the house, Hannah was waking up. Jason and I talked, and he told her that we weren't going to have her party that day. At first she didn't believe him, so she looked to me to set it straight. I told her that even though we wouldn't have her party that day, we would still have it later. And since it was Easter-eve, we would decorate eggs and hunt them and put up her bounce house anyway. Her reaction? "OK"

That made it even sadder for me...that she took it better than I did!

So we inflated the house for her and Carter (and mama and daddy and even Mimi and Pop), and dyed a dozen eggs for hunting (and eating). On Sunday, Jenna came to jump and hunt eggs, so it all turned out OK in the end.

So...this is the make-up party weekend. I'm holding my breath that nobody starts throwing up or running a fever or otherwise ailing. And I'm gearing up for the promised "biggest, bestest birthday party ever." Wish me luck!!

Nasty ole bug!

My poor babies have both been attacked by a nasty little virus. First Hannah, who woke up around 1:00 a.m. yesterday, throwing up in her bed. She and I stayed home yesterday, and luckily she didn't get sick any more. In fact, she must've felt fine because she romped and played and seemed to have the best day ever.

This morning I found little Carter in his bed cooing and talking (as usual) and literally COVERED in yucky stuff. Apparently, he'd thrown up in his bed and pooped in his diaper (which ran OUT of his diaper) sometime during the night. It was everywhere. And I feel like the worst Mommy ever. I can't believe he didn't cry for me. I swear, if DHR had been here and seen him like that, they would've taken him away.

Thank goodness Mimi was here with me when I found him, and she and I put his little hiney straight in the tub to get it all off him (his hair, his back, his feet...I think there might have even been some on his face), and he came out squeaky clean. Bev told me I might need to put diaper rash cream on him to keep him from blistering...so I put it all over.

That's probably the awful-est clean-up job I've ever done.

But now he seems fine. Just keep your fingers crossed that it's over for everybody now.

So meanwhile, I'm at home playing hooky for the second day in a row. I should be getting the house clean and working on getting everything ready for Hannah's party Saturday instead of watching Spirit with Hannah and blabbering on this blog.

So here I go...

Fun to be one!

Carter's first birthday has come and gone, and the celebration couldn't have been more fun. The excitement started Friday night when we went to our usual Friday night date spot...Old Mexico. In true Old Mexico tradition, Carter was given the VIP birthday treatment, complete with a Carter-sized sombrero. Take a look...

The wait staff at Old Mexico always have a fit over Carter...rubbing his head and pinching his cheeks and chattering to him in Spanish. He seems to "eat" it up. Friday night, we told them that it was his birthday (seemingly obvious from the "birthday boy" shirt he was wearing). So I was totally expecting the singing and fried ice cream treat, but I didn't expect the baby sombrero and the waiter smearing a spoonful of ice cream and whipped cream all over Carter's face! Carter had this "I-have-no-idea-what's-going-on" expression during the whole experience, but he thoroughly enjoyed his sweet treat!

THE BIG PARTY!
On Saturday, we enjoyed a small, family-only party here at the house. Mimi did a marvelous job on the cakes...a little round cake with blue, white and brown icing for Carter and a big #1-shaped cake with blue icing and brown dots for the rest of us.

As Jason lit the candle and sat the cake down in front of Carter, Carter made a dive for the cake -- mouth first. Jason held his hands down so he wouldn't grab hold of the candle. For the longest time, he just bent down and ate it by the mouthful. Eventually, he realized it was OK to use his hands, and then it was on! Here's a progression of the destruction...

Hannah had to get in on the action. She dipped her little hand into the cake once or twice, too.

The cake ended up looking more like a sandcastle, but it wasn't strewn from floor to ceiling like I expected. That Carter doesn't waste food! By the time it was over, we had blue hair, cake in the ears and up the nose (we're still finding blue boogers...hee hee). I'd say it was one of the best first birthday's ever!

After a quick bath, Carter was ready to open his gifts. His favorite was his new tractor from Mimi and Pop...

Hannah got a few little gifts of her own. After all, Carter would've never made it to the big 0-1 without such a great big sister. The past year has been rough for her...probably for her more than anybody. I never realized how much a new baby could change an older child. And I never knew how much those little gifts mean to a big sister (or brother), even though it's not their birthday. Now I know how much of a difference it makes to show attention to an older child before ooh-ing and ahh-ing over a new baby; to bring a small token gift to a soon-to-be big sister/brother at a baby shower; and to give an older child a gift on their sibling's birthday. I guess that's one of the MANY things I'll learn from my children.

Enough sappiness...

After the party, we attempted to take a family picture. It didn't turn out quite as perfect as I'd hoped, but it definitely captures the personality of our family...